I made delicious food for Thanksgiving. I made the sweet potatoes and the lemon cake. And yes lemon cake is traditional in the sense that I made it for all the people who super want to eat delicious things. I even made my own homemade whipped frosting. Ninja and I talked our two families into eating together this year so we made half the food and they made half the food. And by they I mostly mean Ninja all by himself. So my family made the vegetables and rolls. The rolls were super amazing delicious, but for whatever reason they didn't rise and were only the size of a meatball. In fact I have to say that everything was delicious. Ninja made the turkey by smoking it and then roasting it in the oven. The smoking caused the meat towards the outside to turn pinkish. He cooked it until the middle of the breast was at 170 so I know it was good to eat, but I was just a little unsettled by the pink tint. It was amazing though because the meat was a little sweet and juicier than any other turkey I have ever had. My brother, who will never even look at turkey, sat himself down in front of the serving platter and picked pieces off. There were also egg rolls and sesame dough balls and bratwurst and homemade pumpkin pie. Honestly it was the best food I have ever had on Thanksgiving and I look forward to having him make me turkey for a looooooong time.
Once we all woke up from our food comas we really didn't do anything and it was absolutely perfect. We played more games and stayed up way too late. Ninja and I went to bed early at around 2am and everyone else stayed up until 5. The next morning we got up and watched more than 3 hours of Spongebob. I would like to point out here that there is nothing wrong with watching cartoons all the time. And I am tired of all these parents who tell their kids shows like Spongebob or Phineas and Ferb will rot their brains, but then allow them to watch things like, uh, I forgot the name. Ummm.... Oh yeah!! Wonder Pets. If I have ever seen a useless bit of dribble that would be it. When did it become "cute" for things to sing in a baby voice off key? Never. I don't care who you are, if you are on TV in a singing based show you need to be ON key. And they also solve "problems" like boredom. Last I checked one of the important steps in child development was learning to manage your own boredom and not by watching (or calling) fictional pets to help. In fact, I think it is insulting to a child to relegate them to such horrible shows because it is "at their level". I remember watching Bugs Bunny since, well, since I can remember anything. Do I think it is directed at a 4 year old level? No, not at all. But I think it was at the very least not detrimental and I really believe it was helpful in teaching me to me grow into an adult. How can it possibly be that watching cartoons above my level helped me mature instead of confusing me and teaching me to be violent? Well, because it didn't star off key animals talking in baby voices my father would sit down and watch it with me. And while we watched he would interject with his explanations of violence and what was okay for people and what was only okay for cartoons. Overall it was a very enjoyable experience and I bonded well with my parents over it. I just see nothing but evil coming from Wonder Pets. NOTHING BUT EVIL. So I say, listen to the horrible screams coming from deep in your psyche when you hear the Wonder Pets theme song. Or even just listen to the medical student who has watched Spongebob incessantly since it started and did not get any stupider. Just please find it in your heart to let your child watch good cartoons. Or at the very least no cartoons is better than that crap. Please stop fueling horrible shows that ruin the minds of nice children. Just pick something entertaining that is a little above their level and spend the time to bond over cartoons. I recommend Spongebob.
Ahem, that was my physician in training PSA of the day. The rest of the day we just hung around. I did go work out with my mom so I could say I wasn't totally useless, but really I was pretty darn useless. Nothing but video games as far as the eye can see. I even forced my own father to play the Family Fued and Trivial Pursuit games with me. I am going to say he enjoyed it not because he enjoyed the game, but because he enjoyed getting outraged by how cheater the questions were. They are really super unfair. One question asked us at which age children started giving Christmas presents to their parents. Uhhhh.... depends? Does it count if the spouse buys the present and signs the child's name? I believe the ages accepted ranged from 5 to 15 and only 6 of them were considered correct. Not even the real Family Fued is that unfair. It's like they just want us to never play that game. Oh well, it was a nice bonding time. Like the time I now spend explaining Spongebob to my parents. Just so you know they rock. You should hang out with them sometime.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Anniversary
Here's the scoop, when I get more than one day behind I feel like writing about that much will be a big time commitment and so I put it off for one more day and then I am more behind and I keep saying I'll have time to write later, but then I don't. Sorry. Anyway, I haven't done much besides get used to being married. Umm.... I am passing school which is always nice. I am not honoring, which I feel pretty neutral about. I spent all last week feeling sick and staying home from school and now I am a few hours behind on lectures, but I think I can catch it up. Not much has happened. Okay, that is a barefaced lie. A whole lot has happened, but I am not going to be able to remember it all let alone write it down. From now on I will at the very minimum try to update once per week if not much more often. I know you've heard it before and I haven't earned anyone's trust, but please give me one more chance.
So a long time ago I took my first and second tests for molecules to medicine and I passed both. Which means I am already doing better than anatomy where I failed every lab practical exam. More recently I took the third exam. The exam was on a Monday and in my tradition I was a few hours behind on lectures on Sunday and I was refusing to even try and pull out my laptop or notes because, well, I feel like I am being punished when I study. I have to go away from everyone else and be very quiet and do things I don't really want to do. Usually about 10 minutes of staring at notes causes me to feel as though I have been put on time-outs and I instantly rebel and go play video games or watch TV. I know that probably isn't the best way to pass school, but I AM passing so something is going right. Well, that or someone upstairs put me here for a reason and He is sure not going to let me sabotage it now. But I honestly can't get past feeling as though I am being punished for something I didn't do and it really prevents me from focusing because all my little girl emotions come flooding back. ~Why do I have to sit here in the corner? All I wanted was cookies for dinner. Why can't my parents just love me for who I am and appreciate the way I expressed myself in my drawings on the wall? It only seems fair that if I have to bathe the cat has to bathe with me. I don't see what's so horrible about riding your bike off the roof. They never let me have fun.~ With all these thoughts and emotions running through my head no one can really expect me to focus on school or study. Sometimes I eat cookies for dinner or stay up all night playing games just to quell those emotions. So anyway, I had tried to study on Saturday, but there were way too many interesting things going on so I felt punished and then I gave up. Ninja was all upset at me for not studying and he was explaining how I needed to study because everyone in my class had been talking about how hard our third exam was supposed to be. It was all about genetics. I tried to explain that genetics is just a lot of concepts and the reason people get lost is because they get into memorizing the details and that isn't possible. To prove I knew genetics concepts and all about punnett squares I made him one. This is all about how Ninja feels about my schoolwork:
Once he saw this he couldn't stay mad because it is so perfectly accurate. Lucky for me he didn't realize this has nothing to do with genetics concepts. Well it kind of does. If you change "study" to Dad and "pass" to Mom and then "yes" to wild type gene and "no" to mutated gene and the genes show incomplete dominance then it is mildly accurate as long as Dad has a form of the mutation that like causes hiccups at 10am and pm everyday and Mom has one that like causes the skin to be tinted purple. And also if together the mutations make the child blind and purple and hiccup-y. Then the faces would make the most sense. But as far as ninja was concerned my point was proven and I went into the test the next day with false confidence and came out distraught because I was scared I would be seeing his angry face as soon as the grades came back. But then I didn't even get close to failing and I don't know why, but I am very happy even though I got his mildly unimpressed face.
So after that test I have not actually been to any lectures. I stay home because I really have been waking up feeling rather unwell, which brings me to my next point. I live in constant absolute terror at the thought of being pregnant. Let me tell you how I have been feeling lately and then the explanation my doctor has, you know my explanation so I won't put it. Exhaustion: staying up too late and being stressed at school. Peeing often: drinking lots of water (I think it could be Diabeetus). Head rushes when standing: tortuous aorta and low blood pressure and jumping up too fast after extended inactivity. Sore breasts: the pill and suddenly going to a high caffeine intake since Ninja started making delicious coffee every morning. Mood swings: the pill and being stressed at school and not sleeping enough. Waking up at 2 or 3am feeling nauseous and having to drink magic juice and walk around to feel better: indigestion or eating too late or being stressed at school. So there you have it. And in case you don't know I consider Pepto Bismol to be magic juice because since I discovered it in 2003 I have not thrown up. If that isn't magical I don't know what is. So I would prefer to not have a child any time soon and I don't know why Ninja gets upset when I tell him I would be extra terrible if I was pregnant and demand cheesy gordita crunches at all hours of the night. I would also kick him in the stomach every time his ill-timed child kicked me in the stomach. And then fake cry to get what I want. And skip class even more. I really don't know why he gets upset because that all seems reasonable for what I would have to go through. Anyway, I should believe the doctor and so I am trying to quell the fear eating away my insides as I wait for definitive proof that my pill is working. You know what I mean and I am totally willing to say it, but I just don't want to in writing. All I'll say is that someone better visit me over the holiday break or I'm going to have a meltdown.
So outside of school and my own psychosis I have had another trip to work at the detox clinic. It was a much less eventful night this time. Someone face planted when they tried to sit down and I was exposed to MRSA and I saw a naked guy in a shower because I was just standing in the wrong place when they opened the door and I saw right in. There were a lot more screaming belligerent people in the quiet rooms, but no one had to be checked for their real gender. I have also had my first day at my preceptor office. She is a very nice pediatrician. We saw quite a few patients and I learned all children like you better when you are the person handing out the lollipops instead of the shots. I also learned that as a pediatrician you have to be okay with everything because if you tell kids how much you hate smoking or drugs or drinking or kids having sex then the kids will never confide in you and they need to. So you have to use phrases like, "I don't think trying a beer or a joint is life altering, but driving under the influence is so don't ever do that or get in a car with someone who is." or "You are old enough to see me without your parents now and I want you to understand I only want to know what you are doing so I can treat you best. I will never tell anyone what you say outside of us in this room." or "Having sex is fine, but you should talk to me about birth control before you start having sex so I can be sure you are ready." So I am learning more detachment skills. I cannot bring my own morals into the room because then I may miss out on helping my patients if they get caught up in something and are too scared to tell me about it because I am openly opinionated against it. Is it a dilemma? Nope. In fact it is essentially considered part of the Hippocratic Oath. To do what is in your patient's best interest. Their best interest is to be comfortable enough around me to tell me everything I need to know to treat them best. So I can never alienate someone with my own opinions. I don't have any opinions so really it isn't hard for me at all. So those are my most recent clinical experiences. I think being a real doctor instead of a bookworm on time-outs is much more fun. I guess I'll stick with this.
Yesterday was the one month anniversary of my best friends forever ceremony with Ninja. He abandoned me for most of the day running errands and doing things for work. I felt pretty lonely. Then he showed up with flowers and everything needed to make an unnecessary amount of decorated sugar cookies! I really like decorating cookies and I also love sprinkles. I am not as fond of flowers, but I am really fond of Ninja so I like them a lot too. Other than that I have just been chilling and trying to relax and pretend I am a normal person with a normal life and that I don't know an unnatural amount about pseudohermaphroditism. Ninja and I have been at house home since Friday and we are spending the week here. Technically I had class through Wednesday, but I have just been watching the lectures online anyway and we don't have any required sessions this week so it didn't matter where I was. So today Ninja is at his house home cooking and I am at my house home hanging out with my super amazing friend Skunk and my brother playing Chrono Trigger. I would go to help Ninja, but he says my helping is more like tying one hand behind his back. Mostly because I just latch on in a bear hug and refuse to let go while he tries to cook. Sometimes he gives me a job like whisking or stirring and I am really good at helping, but other than that I don't do much. I'm not sure if I'll head over there to sleep because it's cold outside. But if I do maybe he'll sing that cold outside song to me if I try to go back here. Hmmm..... that could be worth it. Plus his bed is not comfortable and last time we stayed at his house I woke up because his dog had pretty much pushed me off the bed. Here I have a Tempur-pedic bed and a cat that keeps my feet warm without shoving me around. But I really like elbowing Ninja in my sleep and hearing about it in the morning. This is quite a dilemma. I'll let you know how it turns out tomorrow. Or maybe the day after because tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I may be in a food coma all night and unable to type.
So a long time ago I took my first and second tests for molecules to medicine and I passed both. Which means I am already doing better than anatomy where I failed every lab practical exam. More recently I took the third exam. The exam was on a Monday and in my tradition I was a few hours behind on lectures on Sunday and I was refusing to even try and pull out my laptop or notes because, well, I feel like I am being punished when I study. I have to go away from everyone else and be very quiet and do things I don't really want to do. Usually about 10 minutes of staring at notes causes me to feel as though I have been put on time-outs and I instantly rebel and go play video games or watch TV. I know that probably isn't the best way to pass school, but I AM passing so something is going right. Well, that or someone upstairs put me here for a reason and He is sure not going to let me sabotage it now. But I honestly can't get past feeling as though I am being punished for something I didn't do and it really prevents me from focusing because all my little girl emotions come flooding back. ~Why do I have to sit here in the corner? All I wanted was cookies for dinner. Why can't my parents just love me for who I am and appreciate the way I expressed myself in my drawings on the wall? It only seems fair that if I have to bathe the cat has to bathe with me. I don't see what's so horrible about riding your bike off the roof. They never let me have fun.~ With all these thoughts and emotions running through my head no one can really expect me to focus on school or study. Sometimes I eat cookies for dinner or stay up all night playing games just to quell those emotions. So anyway, I had tried to study on Saturday, but there were way too many interesting things going on so I felt punished and then I gave up. Ninja was all upset at me for not studying and he was explaining how I needed to study because everyone in my class had been talking about how hard our third exam was supposed to be. It was all about genetics. I tried to explain that genetics is just a lot of concepts and the reason people get lost is because they get into memorizing the details and that isn't possible. To prove I knew genetics concepts and all about punnett squares I made him one. This is all about how Ninja feels about my schoolwork:
Once he saw this he couldn't stay mad because it is so perfectly accurate. Lucky for me he didn't realize this has nothing to do with genetics concepts. Well it kind of does. If you change "study" to Dad and "pass" to Mom and then "yes" to wild type gene and "no" to mutated gene and the genes show incomplete dominance then it is mildly accurate as long as Dad has a form of the mutation that like causes hiccups at 10am and pm everyday and Mom has one that like causes the skin to be tinted purple. And also if together the mutations make the child blind and purple and hiccup-y. Then the faces would make the most sense. But as far as ninja was concerned my point was proven and I went into the test the next day with false confidence and came out distraught because I was scared I would be seeing his angry face as soon as the grades came back. But then I didn't even get close to failing and I don't know why, but I am very happy even though I got his mildly unimpressed face.
So after that test I have not actually been to any lectures. I stay home because I really have been waking up feeling rather unwell, which brings me to my next point. I live in constant absolute terror at the thought of being pregnant. Let me tell you how I have been feeling lately and then the explanation my doctor has, you know my explanation so I won't put it. Exhaustion: staying up too late and being stressed at school. Peeing often: drinking lots of water (I think it could be Diabeetus). Head rushes when standing: tortuous aorta and low blood pressure and jumping up too fast after extended inactivity. Sore breasts: the pill and suddenly going to a high caffeine intake since Ninja started making delicious coffee every morning. Mood swings: the pill and being stressed at school and not sleeping enough. Waking up at 2 or 3am feeling nauseous and having to drink magic juice and walk around to feel better: indigestion or eating too late or being stressed at school. So there you have it. And in case you don't know I consider Pepto Bismol to be magic juice because since I discovered it in 2003 I have not thrown up. If that isn't magical I don't know what is. So I would prefer to not have a child any time soon and I don't know why Ninja gets upset when I tell him I would be extra terrible if I was pregnant and demand cheesy gordita crunches at all hours of the night. I would also kick him in the stomach every time his ill-timed child kicked me in the stomach. And then fake cry to get what I want. And skip class even more. I really don't know why he gets upset because that all seems reasonable for what I would have to go through. Anyway, I should believe the doctor and so I am trying to quell the fear eating away my insides as I wait for definitive proof that my pill is working. You know what I mean and I am totally willing to say it, but I just don't want to in writing. All I'll say is that someone better visit me over the holiday break or I'm going to have a meltdown.
So outside of school and my own psychosis I have had another trip to work at the detox clinic. It was a much less eventful night this time. Someone face planted when they tried to sit down and I was exposed to MRSA and I saw a naked guy in a shower because I was just standing in the wrong place when they opened the door and I saw right in. There were a lot more screaming belligerent people in the quiet rooms, but no one had to be checked for their real gender. I have also had my first day at my preceptor office. She is a very nice pediatrician. We saw quite a few patients and I learned all children like you better when you are the person handing out the lollipops instead of the shots. I also learned that as a pediatrician you have to be okay with everything because if you tell kids how much you hate smoking or drugs or drinking or kids having sex then the kids will never confide in you and they need to. So you have to use phrases like, "I don't think trying a beer or a joint is life altering, but driving under the influence is so don't ever do that or get in a car with someone who is." or "You are old enough to see me without your parents now and I want you to understand I only want to know what you are doing so I can treat you best. I will never tell anyone what you say outside of us in this room." or "Having sex is fine, but you should talk to me about birth control before you start having sex so I can be sure you are ready." So I am learning more detachment skills. I cannot bring my own morals into the room because then I may miss out on helping my patients if they get caught up in something and are too scared to tell me about it because I am openly opinionated against it. Is it a dilemma? Nope. In fact it is essentially considered part of the Hippocratic Oath. To do what is in your patient's best interest. Their best interest is to be comfortable enough around me to tell me everything I need to know to treat them best. So I can never alienate someone with my own opinions. I don't have any opinions so really it isn't hard for me at all. So those are my most recent clinical experiences. I think being a real doctor instead of a bookworm on time-outs is much more fun. I guess I'll stick with this.
Yesterday was the one month anniversary of my best friends forever ceremony with Ninja. He abandoned me for most of the day running errands and doing things for work. I felt pretty lonely. Then he showed up with flowers and everything needed to make an unnecessary amount of decorated sugar cookies! I really like decorating cookies and I also love sprinkles. I am not as fond of flowers, but I am really fond of Ninja so I like them a lot too. Other than that I have just been chilling and trying to relax and pretend I am a normal person with a normal life and that I don't know an unnatural amount about pseudohermaphroditism. Ninja and I have been at house home since Friday and we are spending the week here. Technically I had class through Wednesday, but I have just been watching the lectures online anyway and we don't have any required sessions this week so it didn't matter where I was. So today Ninja is at his house home cooking and I am at my house home hanging out with my super amazing friend Skunk and my brother playing Chrono Trigger. I would go to help Ninja, but he says my helping is more like tying one hand behind his back. Mostly because I just latch on in a bear hug and refuse to let go while he tries to cook. Sometimes he gives me a job like whisking or stirring and I am really good at helping, but other than that I don't do much. I'm not sure if I'll head over there to sleep because it's cold outside. But if I do maybe he'll sing that cold outside song to me if I try to go back here. Hmmm..... that could be worth it. Plus his bed is not comfortable and last time we stayed at his house I woke up because his dog had pretty much pushed me off the bed. Here I have a Tempur-pedic bed and a cat that keeps my feet warm without shoving me around. But I really like elbowing Ninja in my sleep and hearing about it in the morning. This is quite a dilemma. I'll let you know how it turns out tomorrow. Or maybe the day after because tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I may be in a food coma all night and unable to type.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Back in the swing of things
I have to say that skipping 20 hours of lecture to get married and have some much deserved (at least in my mind, although I think the school would beg to differ) time off was not the most brilliant of my ideas. However, today marked the day of the test over the last skipped material. All the tests from now on cover only the material I have attended after the wedding. So now I have something that resembles free time in that I don't feel guilty if I sit around instead of watching catch-up lectures online or studying. I will miss biostatistics because they constantly told us, with statistically significant figures to back them up, how a lot of what the general public is told about medicine and disease is wrong. I felt like I was getting into a special "truth" club where no one is going to lie to me any more about what really goes on in medicine. All I have to say is that every time a famous person gets a disease it suddenly becomes the new fashion to screen everyone for it (usually yearly) even if there is no real reason to. So really, the power of celebrity is helping build up medical costs per year of life for average people. All I have to say is that there should be a required standardized test, like the MCAT, with a minimum score necessary to run a company, be a politician, or be anyone with a large sway in policies affecting the general public. Just a thought.
The block I am in now, Molecules to Medicine, I feel is a big waste of my time. I also believe the school knows that as relevant as it is for research, it isn't all that relevant to clinical medicine and they have been trying to compensate by changing the name to sound applicable. I believe it started out as biochemistry. Okay fine. Sounds like an undergrad class where I learn how the chemical make-up of an amino acid makes proteins form. I don't think I'll ever have a patient come in and tell me they are having pain from their proteins having too many basic side chains. So then they changed it to micro-anatomy. Yeah, we had gross anatomy (and I know it is called gross because of the cadavers and not because it is a giant overview of every structure in the body) and so now this is what? The super small arteries branching off? Nope, it's just learning the molecular structure of the body. I would prefer to say that it has nothing to do with anatomy since the general conception of anatomy is that of a larger scale. Like one you can see on someone who is alive and sitting, or lying unconscious, in front of you without a microscope. I know the definition technically encompasses the molecular structure, but really they were just trying to fool us into caring again. So now we are here today in molecules to medicine. They realized we are too smart for their tricks and have just given up and put a relationship in the course title hoping we would care because of it. Oh, molecule TO medicine? That must mean these molecules are very important and not just a boring drudge of biochemistry. I mean, that "to" could mean anything. These molecules could be the ones medicine makes better or maybe even the molecules the medicine is made of. Wow.... I think I am going to leave the detailed molecular structure of medicine to pharmacists. I know that you can argue that once you look into a pathology far enough you end up at the molecular basis for symptoms. I am just saying that spending nine weeks of my first year learning the molecular basis, which I will forget among the quantitative symptoms, for a ton of diseases is not the best use of my time. And so I conclude that once again I know best and everyone should listen to me. Mostly because I have power issues, but hey, that's why I'm going to be a doctor right?
So I never realized how much living alone had affected me until ninja moved in. He recently pointed out that every time I have to pee I say, "Diabeetus" like Wilford Brimley in those old commercials where he rides a horse through a river and talks to me about the importance of regular blood testing for insulin levels. There is a logical explanation for it you know. Two of the main signs you have type 2 diabetes are frequent urination and fatigue. I happen to have both at the moment. You could say it is from being in school and drinking water constantly, but I prefer to err on the side of caution. Or is that paranoia? I can never remember. Anyway, now you know my secret so if you hear me say, "Diabeetus" and then I leave the room you'll know where I went. He has also noticed that I talk to inanimate objects, especially my food, and sometimes even ask questions and act astonished at the reply. I think all of it has been healthy coping mechanisms and the only reason he is able to live with me at all is due to the shreds of sanity I maintained by using those mechanisms. I also think it entertains him because I find him spying on me and laughing sometimes. But how can he judge me? At least I don't hide and then pick him up over my head and throw him into marshmallows. How am I supposed to feel safe in my own apartment if at any time a ninja could jump out and throw me onto something soft and then run away with no real harm done? Sure it is extremely fun and the sort of thing most people have to give up for good when they get to be too big to be carried around by dad and mom, but I have to have one thing, ONE THING, to hold against him. He can't just do everything right and make everything better all the time. I need one tiny bit of leverage, just one, and nothing beats domestic abuse. Yes, I said the big DA. He throws me with no harm done, but throwing is involved none-the-less. This is my ace in the hole for the next time he eats my only slice of my own mother's peach pie. I know none of this could ever hold up anywhere and if I try to use it against him I will probably end up being thrown into a marshmallow, but I have to give it my best shot for the sake of that delicious pie.
The block I am in now, Molecules to Medicine, I feel is a big waste of my time. I also believe the school knows that as relevant as it is for research, it isn't all that relevant to clinical medicine and they have been trying to compensate by changing the name to sound applicable. I believe it started out as biochemistry. Okay fine. Sounds like an undergrad class where I learn how the chemical make-up of an amino acid makes proteins form. I don't think I'll ever have a patient come in and tell me they are having pain from their proteins having too many basic side chains. So then they changed it to micro-anatomy. Yeah, we had gross anatomy (and I know it is called gross because of the cadavers and not because it is a giant overview of every structure in the body) and so now this is what? The super small arteries branching off? Nope, it's just learning the molecular structure of the body. I would prefer to say that it has nothing to do with anatomy since the general conception of anatomy is that of a larger scale. Like one you can see on someone who is alive and sitting, or lying unconscious, in front of you without a microscope. I know the definition technically encompasses the molecular structure, but really they were just trying to fool us into caring again. So now we are here today in molecules to medicine. They realized we are too smart for their tricks and have just given up and put a relationship in the course title hoping we would care because of it. Oh, molecule TO medicine? That must mean these molecules are very important and not just a boring drudge of biochemistry. I mean, that "to" could mean anything. These molecules could be the ones medicine makes better or maybe even the molecules the medicine is made of. Wow.... I think I am going to leave the detailed molecular structure of medicine to pharmacists. I know that you can argue that once you look into a pathology far enough you end up at the molecular basis for symptoms. I am just saying that spending nine weeks of my first year learning the molecular basis, which I will forget among the quantitative symptoms, for a ton of diseases is not the best use of my time. And so I conclude that once again I know best and everyone should listen to me. Mostly because I have power issues, but hey, that's why I'm going to be a doctor right?
So I never realized how much living alone had affected me until ninja moved in. He recently pointed out that every time I have to pee I say, "Diabeetus" like Wilford Brimley in those old commercials where he rides a horse through a river and talks to me about the importance of regular blood testing for insulin levels. There is a logical explanation for it you know. Two of the main signs you have type 2 diabetes are frequent urination and fatigue. I happen to have both at the moment. You could say it is from being in school and drinking water constantly, but I prefer to err on the side of caution. Or is that paranoia? I can never remember. Anyway, now you know my secret so if you hear me say, "Diabeetus" and then I leave the room you'll know where I went. He has also noticed that I talk to inanimate objects, especially my food, and sometimes even ask questions and act astonished at the reply. I think all of it has been healthy coping mechanisms and the only reason he is able to live with me at all is due to the shreds of sanity I maintained by using those mechanisms. I also think it entertains him because I find him spying on me and laughing sometimes. But how can he judge me? At least I don't hide and then pick him up over my head and throw him into marshmallows. How am I supposed to feel safe in my own apartment if at any time a ninja could jump out and throw me onto something soft and then run away with no real harm done? Sure it is extremely fun and the sort of thing most people have to give up for good when they get to be too big to be carried around by dad and mom, but I have to have one thing, ONE THING, to hold against him. He can't just do everything right and make everything better all the time. I need one tiny bit of leverage, just one, and nothing beats domestic abuse. Yes, I said the big DA. He throws me with no harm done, but throwing is involved none-the-less. This is my ace in the hole for the next time he eats my only slice of my own mother's peach pie. I know none of this could ever hold up anywhere and if I try to use it against him I will probably end up being thrown into a marshmallow, but I have to give it my best shot for the sake of that delicious pie.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Attack of the Ninja!
Finally, I've managed to create my own blog-post-thing for everyone to read! Everything here has been an adventure. Every night I go to sleep in fear of what McJohnson will do to "accidently" wake me up, and every morning she forces me wake up with her. It's so cruel. Every afternoon she only lets me watch Phineas and Ferb or Spongebob! Please, please, please someone help me. My ninja powers are too weak to escape the gleeful clutches of Amy-neezer McScrooooooge!
All of that is untrue. Actually, it's really quite a bit of fun hanging out with her all of the time. It's like hanging out with my best friend who just so happens to be a really pretty girl, too. I've made some new acquaintances here, bonded with the kitten (although I'm helping to feed her cat-nip addiction), and managed to cook every day. What some people don't realize is that I enjoy cooking because it's like some great tasting science experiment for me. What she doesn't realize is that I'm testing the food on her. BAHAHAH! Good thing she never reads her own blog... Hm, anyways, where was I? I think zombies live in the apartment above us. Redneck woman zombies-- the worst kind. They stomp around and groan and cackle. I assume they're watering their plants when water randomly spills on our balcony. If the zombie apocalypse happens, I know where it started.
Amy-neezer and I ate at Senor Rick's for dinner. She had a chimichanga and I ate crispy chile rellenos. YUM! Flippin' delicious. What?
We also have been playing the super-fly game known as Let's Dance 2. It has some great songs in it! You wouldn't believe me but Amy-neezer and I are learning how to do the Charleston. If you don't believe me then it's because you don't believe in miracles, which makes you a sad person; that, in turn, makes me sad. Now look what you've done, you've gone and hurt my feelings. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was on purpose. Now that I think about it... yeah, it was on purpose! Why are you playing with my feelings again?! You're tearing me apart!
Annnnyways... There's not much left to write about. Nanosuke (the kitten's ninja name because I'm training her in the art of ninjary... ninjastics? Ninja-ism. Yeah.) and I have developed a close bond. At one point in time, I was the big spoon and she was the little spoon. We watched movies and even stink-eyed a squirrel that was on our balcony. Some day I'll train the furry little mini-ninja to be able to show that squirrel who's boss. I am, by the way. It goes like this: Acorn < Squirrel < Nanosuke < Me.
So, uh... that's all I have. Really nothing else going on from my stand point. Um... What's going on with you? How's work?
...
This is awkward. Yeah... I'll just talk to you later. Okay? Cool.
Oh, before you go. Take note at my effective use of ellipses.
...
Ellipses are for chumps!
So I get busy and ninja gets bored and I figured I would accidentally let him find my blog password and write a bit about being stuck here with me. So if anatomy was the pregnancy of medical school then molecules to medicine is all the time spent watching said child nap. Seriously, it is way boring and then randomly something interesting happens and then they wake up and are a tiny bit amusing and then become annoying and then go back to sleep. Not my favorite block ever, but not really hard. I ended up getting a 75% on the first exam without actually studying even for one minute. All I did was watch the lectures I missed from the wedding which equals out to me just going to the lectures in the first place and then spending no additional time with the material. Good thing I majored in biology and chemistry. Our next test is on biostatistics and epidemiology. I was worried because I am still behind, but then I noticed the test is open book/open note/open everything (except classmates). Mostly we have to interpret data.
I would love to share a few things with you, but you have to promise to listen and not just get mad if you disagree. First, screening for any kind of cancer except cervical is statistically pointless. In fact, the harms of having a false positive far outweighs the benefits of early detection. In most cases the number of false positives is more than triple the number of true positives and so out of 100 people who test positive 25 would have the disease and 75 would not, but would have the emotional trauma and possibly some of the treatments for it. That is a rough estimate and it differs for each disease. But then you have to wonder if for the 25 who get caught is the result worth it. Not necessarily. For breast cancer, if you start screening each year in your 40s like it is recommended then out of 1000 women destined to die from breast cancer in the end only ONE of them will survive because it was caught early. Oddly enough, this is the same number that would survive if the screening was every other year starting after age 50. Once you get into your 60s and 70s there is a marked decrease in the mortality because you get up closer to saving 40 out of 1000. But after 70 you really shouldn't bother because chances are you will die of something else. What I think should be happening is conversations between physicians and patients where the statistics are mentioned and each person makes their own choice. Since I have no family history of any kind of cancer and do not take part in high risk activities I would opt to start in my 50s and probably only have one screening every 5 years and then go to every 2 years in my 60s and 70s before stopping altogether. But since ninja has a high rate of breast cancer in his family (as in every woman gets it no exceptions) I would want my daughters to get tested early and often because I know they will have it at some point. And we then learned that screening for prostate cancer is very harmful due to a phenomenon known as over-diagnosis. Over-diagnosis is where a person has a disease and it has no symptoms or detrimental effects and then it ends and they never even would have known they had it EXCEPT a test caught it and so they get treatment they never really needed. So the prostate is supposed to die in males and the natural course of its death is asymptomatic cancer. 80% of males have it and very few have any sort of symptoms or harmful side effects. But with all the screening men are getting they end up going through treatment and emotional trauma that is completely unnecessary. These are a few examples. There are many others that have nothing to do with cancers. I just would like to mention that screening for diseases before they are symptomatic is not really statistically reasonable. But then you have to wonder, what if the 1/1000 women saved by a mammogram in her 40s was your mother? It would be worth it despite all the emotional stress on the other women with false positives, right? I would ruin other people's lives to save my mother so I say a hearty YES! I just think each person should make an informed decision and no more of this scaring us into unnecessary testing junk. Not cool cancer society, not cool.
I would like to mention here just how happy I am at the moment with my life. Everything married=better than everything not married. I can still do things with my parents and brother and be a part of their family, but then I also get to do everything with ninja. Best of both worlds I say. And the food! Oh man, you wish you were me, that's all I have to say. Plus he has lately taken to spoiling my cat. A six foot Filipino cuddling a 10 pound cat is adorable. Not to mention all the toys he keeps getting her. Ah, this is the life.
All of that is untrue. Actually, it's really quite a bit of fun hanging out with her all of the time. It's like hanging out with my best friend who just so happens to be a really pretty girl, too. I've made some new acquaintances here, bonded with the kitten (although I'm helping to feed her cat-nip addiction), and managed to cook every day. What some people don't realize is that I enjoy cooking because it's like some great tasting science experiment for me. What she doesn't realize is that I'm testing the food on her. BAHAHAH! Good thing she never reads her own blog... Hm, anyways, where was I? I think zombies live in the apartment above us. Redneck woman zombies-- the worst kind. They stomp around and groan and cackle. I assume they're watering their plants when water randomly spills on our balcony. If the zombie apocalypse happens, I know where it started.
Amy-neezer and I ate at Senor Rick's for dinner. She had a chimichanga and I ate crispy chile rellenos. YUM! Flippin' delicious. What?
We also have been playing the super-fly game known as Let's Dance 2. It has some great songs in it! You wouldn't believe me but Amy-neezer and I are learning how to do the Charleston. If you don't believe me then it's because you don't believe in miracles, which makes you a sad person; that, in turn, makes me sad. Now look what you've done, you've gone and hurt my feelings. If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was on purpose. Now that I think about it... yeah, it was on purpose! Why are you playing with my feelings again?! You're tearing me apart!
Annnnyways... There's not much left to write about. Nanosuke (the kitten's ninja name because I'm training her in the art of ninjary... ninjastics? Ninja-ism. Yeah.) and I have developed a close bond. At one point in time, I was the big spoon and she was the little spoon. We watched movies and even stink-eyed a squirrel that was on our balcony. Some day I'll train the furry little mini-ninja to be able to show that squirrel who's boss. I am, by the way. It goes like this: Acorn < Squirrel < Nanosuke < Me.
So, uh... that's all I have. Really nothing else going on from my stand point. Um... What's going on with you? How's work?
...
This is awkward. Yeah... I'll just talk to you later. Okay? Cool.
Oh, before you go. Take note at my effective use of ellipses.
...
Ellipses are for chumps!
So I get busy and ninja gets bored and I figured I would accidentally let him find my blog password and write a bit about being stuck here with me. So if anatomy was the pregnancy of medical school then molecules to medicine is all the time spent watching said child nap. Seriously, it is way boring and then randomly something interesting happens and then they wake up and are a tiny bit amusing and then become annoying and then go back to sleep. Not my favorite block ever, but not really hard. I ended up getting a 75% on the first exam without actually studying even for one minute. All I did was watch the lectures I missed from the wedding which equals out to me just going to the lectures in the first place and then spending no additional time with the material. Good thing I majored in biology and chemistry. Our next test is on biostatistics and epidemiology. I was worried because I am still behind, but then I noticed the test is open book/open note/open everything (except classmates). Mostly we have to interpret data.
I would love to share a few things with you, but you have to promise to listen and not just get mad if you disagree. First, screening for any kind of cancer except cervical is statistically pointless. In fact, the harms of having a false positive far outweighs the benefits of early detection. In most cases the number of false positives is more than triple the number of true positives and so out of 100 people who test positive 25 would have the disease and 75 would not, but would have the emotional trauma and possibly some of the treatments for it. That is a rough estimate and it differs for each disease. But then you have to wonder if for the 25 who get caught is the result worth it. Not necessarily. For breast cancer, if you start screening each year in your 40s like it is recommended then out of 1000 women destined to die from breast cancer in the end only ONE of them will survive because it was caught early. Oddly enough, this is the same number that would survive if the screening was every other year starting after age 50. Once you get into your 60s and 70s there is a marked decrease in the mortality because you get up closer to saving 40 out of 1000. But after 70 you really shouldn't bother because chances are you will die of something else. What I think should be happening is conversations between physicians and patients where the statistics are mentioned and each person makes their own choice. Since I have no family history of any kind of cancer and do not take part in high risk activities I would opt to start in my 50s and probably only have one screening every 5 years and then go to every 2 years in my 60s and 70s before stopping altogether. But since ninja has a high rate of breast cancer in his family (as in every woman gets it no exceptions) I would want my daughters to get tested early and often because I know they will have it at some point. And we then learned that screening for prostate cancer is very harmful due to a phenomenon known as over-diagnosis. Over-diagnosis is where a person has a disease and it has no symptoms or detrimental effects and then it ends and they never even would have known they had it EXCEPT a test caught it and so they get treatment they never really needed. So the prostate is supposed to die in males and the natural course of its death is asymptomatic cancer. 80% of males have it and very few have any sort of symptoms or harmful side effects. But with all the screening men are getting they end up going through treatment and emotional trauma that is completely unnecessary. These are a few examples. There are many others that have nothing to do with cancers. I just would like to mention that screening for diseases before they are symptomatic is not really statistically reasonable. But then you have to wonder, what if the 1/1000 women saved by a mammogram in her 40s was your mother? It would be worth it despite all the emotional stress on the other women with false positives, right? I would ruin other people's lives to save my mother so I say a hearty YES! I just think each person should make an informed decision and no more of this scaring us into unnecessary testing junk. Not cool cancer society, not cool.
I would like to mention here just how happy I am at the moment with my life. Everything married=better than everything not married. I can still do things with my parents and brother and be a part of their family, but then I also get to do everything with ninja. Best of both worlds I say. And the food! Oh man, you wish you were me, that's all I have to say. Plus he has lately taken to spoiling my cat. A six foot Filipino cuddling a 10 pound cat is adorable. Not to mention all the toys he keeps getting her. Ah, this is the life.
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