House Home

I have realized I have two places where I would consider myself home and I need to specify.  I have House home and Apartment home.  I spent this weekend at House home.  This one is bigger, but does not have air conditioning.  Anyway, there isn't much to tell you guys because I was home so you were there and probably know what I did.  I enjoyed spending time with everyone and having my cake caper and then an unplanned photography caper. 

I would like to say my cake is going to be the best cake ever which is saying a lot from someone who thinks wedding cakes are the most boring looking pieces of delicious ever.  By the way, if you want to know what horrible feels like try going to the cake tasting for your wedding only to realize two bites in that your allergies have made it impossible to distinguish any flavors.  Eating free cake is supposed to be one of the best part of getting married, but they all tasted like cake texture and mucus.  Well, I guess texture isn't a flavor so they just tasted like mucus.  Mmmmmm.  Delicious.  Anyway, the ninja was late to the tasting and I was grumpy already that I couldn't taste anything and I decided nothing was going to make me feel better.  That is until we all came up with the best wedding cake idea ever!  This idea is so fantastic that even if we actually had mucus flavored cake people would eat as much of it as possible just to be a part of the amazing-ness.  Yeah, it is that good.  I would also like to say my pictures are going to be the best ever because I have only invited beautiful people to my wedding.  Or because the photographer showed me one of the best pictures I have ever seen in my life and then told me it was not his high quality stuff like he uses at weddings.  And he is one of the most awesome people ever and he thinks everything about my wedding is classy, right down to the pizza and indoor soccer shoes.  Best photographer ever!  So a lot got done and it was not educational so now I am behind on school, yet ahead at life.

I also got to play soccer while I was home and I did not blow out my achilles and die of hyperventilation like I thought.  I actually had a lot of fun and I am going to pretend I didn't suck so I don't cry myself to sleep tonight.  Actually I didn't do half bad except for the times where I wouldn't run (which was most the time) because I could taste blood.  I guess I have to cut myself a little slack because I really have not exercised or run since I had pneumonia in July except to play hula-hoop on Wii Fit and pretend it was good for my abs.  Yes, I really did that for a week.  And as a health semi-professional I say it IS great for the abs.  It works your whole core while making you work extra hard because you secretly think if you miss the hula-hoop your Mii father throws to you he will disown you for life.  Sometimes when you live alone you make Miis on the Wii of everyone you miss and then go to the Mii channel and watch them parade while you cheer for them as they go by.  I think it is the healthiest coping mechanism possible.  I mean, who wants to make new friends that may have the potential to be one of the most awesome people ever when you can just watch your Mii family parade for you whenever you desire?  In fact, I am a little upset now that I can't get my real family to parade whenever I choose.  I should try harder next time I am at House home. 

I do have to mention a few things about going house home though.  (I know I only capitalize house sometimes, but it is its own sort of grammitical entity that I made up so I made up the grammer rules for it too.  If you can guess what they are I'll give you a cookie.)  Now that I am in medical school I feel weird around certain people.  Some of them are condescending when I tell them I am in medical school and they say something like, "To be a nurse?" or "Which school do you plan to apply to after undergrad?"  I tried to find a benefit of the doubt to give them, but the only thing I could think of is that I look stupider than I am and I don't like looking stupid so I won't let them have it.  Others pretend like I suddenly know everything in the world and are disappointed that I can't tell them how to diagnose a femoral hernia as opposed to a swollen lymph node from home.  Then there are some who try to justify themselves to me.  People I have known for years have started telling me things like, "I rarely eat fast food, you know.  And I eat plenty of vegetables as well."  As if I didn't hang out with them enough to know they think vegetables are poisonous.  Or "I only talk on the phone while driving if it's something really important."  I like to just nod like I am in deep thought when they say these things because I am entertained by it and if I let them know I couldn't care less they won't worry about telling me how good they are anymore, but if I act judgemental they won't want to hang out with me again.  But by far my favorite is, "I was going to go to medical school, but then (awesome life event story that I wish I had so I wouldn't be stuck in medical school unless it is a tragic story and then I would rather be in school)."  I don't think everyone who isn't a doctor is a loser.  In fact, I wish God hadn't put me here sometimes.  But I know why I am here.

Back in high school I was an ornery person.  I am all better now, but the man upstairs has a wicked sense of humor.  My senior year I took anatomy and I wanted it to be an easy class.  So everytime our teacher insisted we memorize detailed parts of anatomy I would think it was my right to loudly voice my opinion.  I told her nearly everyday that year that no one, especially me after her torturous teaching method, in our class would ever be a doctor and that it was a cottonpick of cottonpickers (we were banned at my school from using any euphemism except cottonpicking) that we had to learn so much anatomy.  So here I am wishing I had just learned a little more in her class so my life could be easier now.  I'm just glad God made my feet taste so good.