All Alone

Today started out in lab.  It was pretty uneventful.  We finished up the required dissections for the trunk and really it was a one-man job and we are in groups of four so people got a tad bit bored.  One of our guys even bought everyone coffee.  Not to drink in the lab because that would be gross, but to drink right on the other side of the glass door to the lab.  After lab I had BCLS, Basic Cardiac Life Support, also known as CPR.  I felt a little uneasy as though our teachers didn't really want to be there.  Maybe it was the worn out PowerPoint.  Or maybe, just maybe, it was when a lady told us we were adults and they were not going to hold our hands while we watched the movie and they could leave if they wanted, but that if we left we failed the course and got written up for professionalism violations.  Then there was the part where they gave us the test and let us use our books and started telling us the answers before we finished so if you had left any blank they just told you what to circle before you graded it yourself and turned it in.  Perhaps it was when they only did the re-certification test even though about ten people had never been certified in the first place.  Or maybe they did want to be there and I just horrible mis-interpreted everything that happened.  After we had all finished the test they actually let us practice on dummies.  I enjoyed when we were told to push harder than we thought we should because it is rare to not break a rib so we shouldn't be timid.  But my favorite part was when they asked everyone in the class to raise their hands if they would perform mouth-to-mouth on a stranger if they knew it would save their life.  About half the class raised their hands.  Then they said, "On Colfax?" and no one raised their hand.  No one's a hero anymore.  Especially not me because I didn't even raise my hand the first time.  Anyway, I guess our hospital never allows mouth-to-mouth, it's actually against hospital law, and always uses a bag or mouth airway thingy.  That's the technical term.  I also liked when the video told us never to practice the Heimlich maneuver on a non-choking person.  Sorry ninja.  Not for all the previous times, but for all the times in the future that I ignore their advice.

Once I finished BCLS I went home for dinner and then went back to the lab to study against my better olfactory judgment.  After I got home again I had an attack of crippling lonliness.  At first I thought it was from being so far away from everyone.  And then I thought it was that I only get hugs on the weekends.  And then I thought it was because I live in a beige cage.  So finally in my crippled and not so lucid state I began to think it was because no one cared about me.  But then my mom and ninja went out of their way to talk to me until my phone battery almost died.  So I felt a whole lot better, but I still felt a little lonely.  I finally realized why.  It's because I can't share my experiences with everyone due to graphic nature (believe me anything you have read so far is nothing compared to what has been going on) and the people I share these experiences with are still in the acquaintance stage.  So what can I do?  Tell my family horrible stories about lab of course.  Ninja will now always shudder when he thinks about farmers milking cows.  And my mother will cringe at the word prolapse.  My bother can never again watch Star Trek without laughing at Spock.  You too can share these experiences, but not on my blog.  Come on people, this is in the public domain.  I can't be ruining the life of a serious Trekkies who accidentally stumble across my blog!  So if you want to never be the same and you feel like gagging a few times just ask nicely and I can tell you.  But for now I must remain lonely in my weird world where I suddenly know too much and I can't unlearn the terrible secrets of the lab.