I never learn. I shouldn't skip days, but I skipped a whole lot now. This will be in two parts so if you decide you think Tuesday and Wednesday are boring you can skip to the juicy stuff on Thursday and Friday.
Tuesday morning it was really rainy and cold and I wanted to stay in bed SO bad that I checked to see if lecture was required. It was. As I walked to school in just a sweatshirt I realized I should invest in a rain coat. Anyway, the required lecture was just another speech about our MSA (mentored scholarly activity) projects due at the end of fourth year. I have no idea why the lecture was required because all I learned is that I have over a month to think about what I wan to do and I already knew that. After I finished an hour of hearing what I knew already we had our last two lectures in anatomy ever. They were both on embryology, the bane of my existence. Yeah sure, it's nice to have unlimited proof of how people had to have been created because there is just NO WAY all of this happened by chance, but it is just unpleasant to be tested on all the details. I would like to find the people who took the time to trace every structure on an adult human back to its origin as a tiny bump or crevice in an embryo and punch them in the face. Okay, maybe I am being a bit rash. Since we now know where all of these structures originate in an embryo it is easier to figure out what has gone wrong in children with physical birth defects. So I say, trace away over-zealous scientists. But stop making first year medical students who are not going to remember any of this by the end of third year learn what you have discovered. We will take the time to learn it later as it applies best to what we specialize in. Why do I need to know what the palate formed from if I go into podiatry? So having the last lecture of anatomy was both gratifying and terrifying. I am happy I am so close to the end, but so scared because I have no idea about anything in any of the lectures and the test is on Monday.
After class my brother came up to stay overnight. I really wanted to go eat right when he arrived, but I had put all of my warm clothes in the washer and we had to wait a few hours. After my clothes finally dried out we walked over to the bookstore and bought stuff. I can't say what stuff because some of it may be presents for some people. So we got stuff and plenty of it. We did make it to eat eventually and I forced him to have Hawaiian barbecue with me at L&L. A few days ago I saw someone on TV eat Loco Moco and I knew I would die soon if I did not also consume that which looked so delicious on my television. It was just as delicious as I thought it would be! So after we ate we went on an unbridled shopping spree!! We got a raincoat on sale and some gum and a fake mustache for my brother and Poptarts and Nutrigrain bars. I am so crazy sometimes! How will ninja react when I want to splurge after we are married? There is no saying no to me when I want something frivolous like gloves to keep my hands warm when I walk to school or bread to make sandwiches with so I don't have to buy lunch at school. He will just have to cave into my insane wishes until we are broke from all the ridiculous things I buy that no one needs! I am so devious! That night I took my brother up to school to look at the bone lab and the 3D lab. Needless to say he was very impressed. Then I studied for my physical exam skills final and practiced all the non-awkward exams on him and went to bed.
Wednesday was rather uneventful. I had my wilderness medicine elective and we learned about diarrhea. Actually, diarrhea is WAY more interesting than I ever thought. It can be caused by several things and using antibiotics to help it is almost pointless except for helping more bacteria become antibiotic resistant. And the best way to handle fecal matter in the wild is to smear it on the top of the ground so the sun can bake out all the pathogens in it. That way you don't have anything living in it for years like in an outhouse pit. Like the one I fell into a few years ago while I was filling it in with dirt. I just shuddered thinking about it. Waist deep in years old fecal matter. Eeeewww... And friends just laughing at me rather than helping me out. Not cool. Some days I think I can still smell the stank in my hair. Anyway, back to diarrhea. We also learned that Gatorade is only good for helping you get fat and more dehydrated. There is a right balance of sugar and salt to rehydrate you and unless it tastes like salt water with a little Kool-Aid in it the mix probably isn't right. So go buy Pedialyte! You know it is good for you because it tastes terrible.
After my elective I had my exam. I had to do lower extremity, abdominal, and cardiac exams. I am confident I passed all three. I was not thrilled about finding the femoral pulse on a man, but I toughed it out. I also managed to hear his heart on at least 50% of the places I put my stethoscope and effectively pretend I heard it on the rest. So the worst part of the whole set of exams was the hip range of motion tests on the lower extremity exam. I was practicing on a man and he had on short, loose boxers. Needless to say when I pulled his leg out to the side to test hip abduction his balls came flying out at me!! The worst part is that I was staring there because we are supposed to observe the hip area when we test it AND I had to do it on the other side next. Not cool. The only good part of this is that I got to tell so many people about it later.
After all my exams were over I drove to house home with my brother. We met up with ninja and some other friends at the park to play soccer. Mostly I talked to one of my friends who is an EMT about ridiculous medical stories. Then I went to my old youth group to see everybody. I told anyone over the age of 18 my story about the exam earlier. Then I helped my brother entertain young children for a few hours before we all went to get free pie. And by all of us I mean me and ninja and the youth minister. My brother is house-sitting so he had to go. I had a delicious LT with eggs and pancakes thingy. LT is a BLT without the bacon. I also had some pear blueberry pie. It is one of the most delicious pies ever! Please go to Village Inn and buy it as often as possible so they make it a permanent menu edition. Thank you. Other than all of that, and many things I omitted to protect the privacy of the parties involved and/or protect the parties reading this from severe mental distress, nothing else happened.
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