I have no idea who decided it was acceptable to have class at 8am on a Monday, but it is not cool. Not cool. I ended up having a 14 hour day. I suppose that is alright though because it felt a lot shorter than most of the other days I have been having lately. So today I learned I cannot focus when I am less than two weeks from acquiring my live-in chef. Class went like this (the following is what I was hearing in my head):
"Today we will be finishing up the anatomy of the face. We are going to start with the oral cavity. The space between the lips and the teeth is called the vestibule. This extends down.... Ninja has such nice pillow lips. They are so big and squishy I wonder if there is any space between them and his teeth at all. And his smile is so cute! I especially like how it is all crooked when he is really happy. Ah! I need to pay attention! I know a lot about the mouth from working in the oral surgery office, so I should be fine this time, but no more! There are three parts of the pharynx. The first extends from the back of the nasal cavity. It includes several muscles..... Man, ninja always smells so good. He is like a wafting cloud of hot manliness. Ninja is the coolest person ever. I need to tell someone about how amazing he is. Hmmm.... everyone looks pretty absorbed in this lecture. They may get mad if I bother them to talk about how cool ninja is. Oh crap! FOCUS!! And now onto the larynx. It's okay. I only missed the pharynx. How many questions could there be about it on the exam anyway? The larynx is also known as your voice box, but it isn't a box at all. May I have a few volunteers to come demonstrate. Okay, just stand up on this table here. Oh my! It didn't bend like that when I tried this earlier! I don't think it should fall through since you both look pretty thin, but don't bounce around too much. Anyway, when you talk the vocal folds move like.... Haha! If ninja got up on that table I bet it would bend in half. He is so big and muscle-y. I bet he could take anyone in the whole world in a fight. You have to respect anyone who can just punch bricks like, "Take that brick! I know the foundation of houses is made of you, but I can put you in your place like you were a piece of paper." Maybe if I am really good he'll put some bricks in their place for me. Oh no! I promised him I would focus! I don't want to make him mad. So the last thing we will be covering today is the ear. There won't be any questions about this on your test since you cover it in such great detail later. Screw it! I want to daydream about ninja and I'm not fighting it to learn something that won't be on the test."
And that is the abridged version of how lecture went this morning. We also had 2 hours of embryology, but that is not on the test so I had much the same reaction as to the material about the ear.
After lecture I realized I was supposed to meet my lab group to discuss our clinical cases for lunch. Since I had not packed a lunch I ran over to buy a piece of pizza. I really miss having pizza all the time. It was so delicious that I daydreamed about eating pizza with ninja the entire time our group was meeting and neither learned anything nor added anything to the discussion. After that was my last 4 hours of lab. I spent most of lab the same way as lecture, but then I finally got to dissect. I dissected out the orbit. I must say I did a fine job. I managed to save everything I was supposed to identify and more! And I did a pretty intense dissection in a relatively short amount of time. No one can say I didn't do my part today. Unless they are only talking about the first half of lab where every time they asked me for help I would spout off a random fact about ninja or our soon-to-happen best friends forever ceremony. After lab I ran home to shower and head back to school for the informal physical exam review put on by my classmates.
The review was pretty cool. There was a volunteer examiner and patient for each exam we will be tested on and then we would break out into groups of 2-3 to practice. I was in a group with two guys in my class. We are all professionals here right? So I really have no problem with helping my fellow classmates out even if it does mean letting them invade my personal bubble. Part of learning physical exams is learning how to drape people so they don't feel exposed. To help everyone get an accurate kind of practice I agreed to wear a gown with just my bra underneath. And we all kept our pants on of course. It wasn't too awkward because all the girls were like that and the guys had no shirt and just a gown. So draping involves moving the gown all about and exposing your breast (or just bra) to do a cardiac exam, pulling the gown down to your nipple line or up just under your chest for a pulmonary exam, and exposing you stomach for the abdominal exam. It is just like when you go to the real doctor. We all practiced our exams and I personally learned a lot and will probably pass no problem now. So after we finished the scheduled session I went to my two partners and thanked them for helping me out so much. On my way out of the lecture hall I saw one elbow the other and say, "Thank us? No way dude! Thank her!" It was pretty funny. I suppose we all still have a little ways to go before we can be totally professional.
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