Two Zebras Bit My Cousin

I have decided there is no way that the head and neck, all tiny and stuff, can be so much more complicated than the entire rest of the body put together.  I seriously think there is a conspiracy here to just mess with me.  How on earth can the test over the head and neck have more nerve questions than the arms, legs, back, thorax, abdomen, and pelvis put together?  It can't that's how.  They have decided I had too high of grades on the other two exams so now they have to make up extra nerves just to knock me back down to barely passing.  I find this to be completely unfair and if I thought picketing would get me anywhere I would hire people to do it for me.  Not because I'm lazy, but because I would need to be in class learning about these fictional nerves in case the picketing didn't work.  I also think they poked extra holes in all the plastic skulls just so I could have more bony landmarks to memorize.  At least this is the last unit before we start Molecules to Medicine.  I can only imagine what they would make up next if there was another anatomy unit.  Probably the anatomy of the human aura.  There are no pictures of it because it is not able to be visualized, but you need to know all of the non-existant bony landmarks and these hypercounterfeiticofraudularis muscle innervations.  Honestly we are not making things up baby doctor (they really do call us baby docs and then coo like it would be adorable if we vomited on them, which they may actually enjoy because then they could try to figure out why we vomited in the first place and that is just fascinating to medical people apparantly), we really have studied the human aura extensively even though no one can see them and they have never been conclusively proven to exist.  Yep, I would not put it past them at this point.

So after my ridiculous classes yesterday I had my elective that takes place in a detox clinic downtown.  On my way over there I found the zoo!!  I am going to go there someday and just bask in the wonderful feeling that I only have to memorize the anatomy of one species and not a whole zoo full of species.  So at the clinic we had a tour and it was very interesting.  They keep all the men in one big room with lots of beds and they told us people stay in that one room for up to 6 months and they never leave and the lights never get turned off and they are never alone.  The women have the same, but in a smaller room because there usually aren't as many.  I think that sounds like a community jail where you don't even get to sleep in the dark or have your own cell or go outside.  Anyway, I got hit on.  It was really funny.  The nurse kept yelling at the guy to knock it off.  So for the class we sign up for two shifts, each from 6pm-midnight.  I am pretty excited and really not excited at the same time.  I think this will be a ton of fun and a chance for me to learn to connect with the kind of people my parents always told me to avoid.  I just really don't want to get peed or thrown up on.  Or assaulted either I suppose, but mostly the pee and vomit thing.

Then today we had more ridiculous lectures with obviously fake nerve and structure names.  After that ended we had lab.  This lab is special though because now we have removed the bandages on the face.  Stan was actually a pretty handsome guy.  I think maybe what bothered me the most is that it didn't bother me to see his face.  I actually had a lot of fun pinching his nose and ears and petting his hair.  It was really soft, but not as soft as the hair on the women.  We even gave his nose hairs a little trim.  So as hard as cleaning nerves and arteries was in the rest of the body it is multiplied by ten now.  There are so many and they are really small and they are stuck in the different layers of skin where it is hard to find them.  So the facial nerves come out from near the ear and go around the face.  There are five of them and to help us remember the names they gave us the mneumonic two zebras bit my cousin.  Then they told us that although that may seem like an odd sort of thing to happen it is actually very common.  In fact, the most common bite zookeepers receive are zebra bites.  So I say let's bite back to avenge all of our cousins and make as much zebra print furniture and clothing as possible.  And I don't mean the faux zebra hide kind.  If it was your cousin what would you do?